<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8" standalone="yes"?><rss version="2.0" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom"><channel><title>Stories on HaHaHaa</title><link>https://hahahaa.uk/stories/</link><description>Recent content in Stories on HaHaHaa</description><generator>Hugo</generator><language>en</language><lastBuildDate>Sat, 16 May 2026 00:00:00 +0000</lastBuildDate><atom:link href="https://hahahaa.uk/stories/index.xml" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml"/><item><title>2026 Zwift as a recovery tool 🚲❤️‍🩹🚲</title><link>https://hahahaa.uk/stories/005-zwift/</link><pubDate>Sat, 16 May 2026 00:00:00 +0000</pubDate><guid>https://hahahaa.uk/stories/005-zwift/</guid><description>&lt;!-- markdownlint-disable MD001 --&gt;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10; &lt;!-- t = "banner" found at _partials/tool/banner.html--&gt;&#10; &#10;&#10; &#10; &lt;!-- t = "banner" found at _partials/tool/banner.html--&gt;&#10; &#10; &#10;&#10;&#10;&lt;div class="banner "&gt;&#10; &#10; &#10; &lt;div class="text"&gt;Never underestimate the power of an old guy on a bike&lt;/div&gt;&#10;&lt;/div&gt;&#10;&#10; &#10; &#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10; &lt;!-- t = "block" found at _partials/tool/block.html--&gt;&#10; &#10;&#10; &#10; &lt;!-- t = "block" found at _partials/tool/block.html--&gt;&#10; &#10; &#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&lt;div class = "flex one four-800"&gt;&#10;&lt;div class="full fourth-800 src block"&gt;&lt;img class="image" src="https://hahahaa.uk/stories/005-zwift/ai-turbo-training-cartoon.png" alt="zwift climb data" /&gt;&#10; &#10;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="full three-fourth-800 txt block"&gt;&#10; &lt;div class="card"&gt;&lt;div class="description"&gt;&lt;h4 id="zwift-turns-your-garage-into-a-home"&gt;&#10;&lt;a href="https://zwift.com" title="Zwift"&#10; &#10;&#9;&#9;target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer"&#10; &#10;&gt;Zwift&lt;/a&gt;&#10;&#10; turns your garage into a home&lt;/h4&gt;&#10;&lt;p&gt;If you&amp;rsquo;ve not tried zwift, then just imagine being in your garage, on a bicycle, a fan is on MAX and blowing sweat from&#10;your face, over your shoulders and onto the electrical cables behind you. The happy &#10;&lt;a href="https://zwift.com" title="Zwift"&#10; &#10;&#9;&#9;target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer"&#10; &#10;&gt;Zwift&lt;/a&gt;&#10;&#10; music is encouraging your to&#10;smile and have fun, while the relentless attacks coming from the peleton in your &lt;em&gt;friendly club meetup&lt;/em&gt; turn your&#10;breathing into a soundscape that would cause Darth Vader to consider a doctor&amp;rsquo;s visit.&lt;/p&gt;</description></item><item><title>2026 ❤️‍🩹 CResT &amp; Physical Education</title><link>https://hahahaa.uk/stories/004-crest-pe/</link><pubDate>Wed, 18 Mar 2026 00:00:00 +0000</pubDate><guid>https://hahahaa.uk/stories/004-crest-pe/</guid><description>&lt;!-- markdownlint-disable MD001 --&gt;&#10;&lt;h4 id="tldrtoo-long-didnt-read"&gt;TLDR&lt;small&gt;Too Long; Didn&amp;rsquo;t Read;&lt;/small&gt;&lt;/h4&gt;&#10;&lt;img src="haslemere.png" alt="Haslemere Hospital" style="width:200px;float:left;padding:0.5em;"&gt;&#10;The NHS Surrey CResT programme is available to anyone undergoing cardiac or pulmonary rehabilitation. 8 weeks of&#10;physiotherapy with a truly wonderful team of physiotherapists who brought joy and knowledge to every session. I&#10;learned lots and left the programme with a right knee that works better and an extra 50W on my cycling ftp for a&#10;heart rate of 120bpm.&#10;&#10;Each Wednesday felt a bit like putting my PE kit on and going to school again for sports day. The major difference&#10;bing that I actually enjoyed the entire CResT programme. All credit to the CResT team - they&amp;#39;re wonderful!&#10;&#10;&lt;div style="clear:left"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&#10;&#10;&lt;style&gt;&#10; .diary-icon {&#10; display: flex;&#10; aspect-ratio: 1;&#10; padding: 0.1em;&#10; justify-content: center;&#10; border-right: 1px solid lightgrey;&#10; }&#10; .diary-box {&#10; align-items: center;&#10; border: 1px solid lightgrey;&#10; border-radius: 1em;&#10; margin: 0.3em;&#10; padding: 0.5em;&#10; }&#10; .diary-date {&#10; color: darkred;&#10; }&#10; .diary-box img {&#10; max-height:100%;&#10; max-width: 100%;&#10; padding: 0.3em;&#10; object-fit: contain;&#10; }&#10;&lt;/style&gt;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&lt;div class="flex five diary-box"&gt;&#10; &#10; &#10; &lt;div class="fifth diary-icon"&gt;&lt;img src="https://hahahaa.uk/stories/004-crest-pe/exercise1.svg" alt="exercise 1"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&#10; &lt;div class="four-fifth"&gt;&#10; &lt;span class = "diary-date"&gt;&lt;em&gt;2026-01-28&lt;/em&gt; &lt;strong&gt;Wednesday&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&#10; &lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Session 1&lt;/strong&gt;: A great flock of people of wildly different fitness, age and outlook guided with care and empathy by&#10;the enthusiastic physio team. Blood pressure &amp;amp; heart rates taken during the checking. Name badge pinned to my&#10;chest with Heart Rate limits; probably to help me remember to moderate my effort, but probably also to remind me&#10;of my own name should I push too hard.&lt;/p&gt;</description></item><item><title>2026 ❤️‍🩹 Recovery Diary</title><link>https://hahahaa.uk/stories/003-recovery-2026/</link><pubDate>Sat, 10 Jan 2026 00:00:00 +0000</pubDate><guid>https://hahahaa.uk/stories/003-recovery-2026/</guid><description>&lt;!-- markdownlint-disable MD001 --&gt;&#10;&lt;h4 id="tldr--too-long-didnt-read"&gt;TLDR &lt;small&gt;Too Long; Didn&amp;rsquo;t Read;&lt;/small&gt;&lt;/h4&gt;&#10;&lt;p&gt;A remarkable recovery from 2025 leads to regaining lost fitness in 2026. My journey &amp;hellip;.&lt;/p&gt;&#10;&#10;&lt;style&gt;&#10; .diary-icon {&#10; display: flex;&#10; aspect-ratio: 1;&#10; padding: 0.1em;&#10; justify-content: center;&#10; border-right: 1px solid lightgrey;&#10; }&#10; .diary-box {&#10; align-items: center;&#10; border: 1px solid lightgrey;&#10; border-radius: 1em;&#10; margin: 0.3em;&#10; padding: 0.5em;&#10; }&#10; .diary-date {&#10; color: darkred;&#10; }&#10; .diary-box img {&#10; max-height:100%;&#10; max-width: 100%;&#10; padding: 0.3em;&#10; object-fit: contain;&#10; }&#10;&lt;/style&gt;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&lt;div class="flex five diary-box"&gt;&#10; &#10; &#10; &lt;div class="fifth diary-icon"&gt;&lt;img src="https://hahahaa.uk/shared/img/col-du-peyresourde.png" alt="col-du-peyresourde"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&#10; &lt;div class="four-fifth"&gt;&#10; &lt;span class = "diary-date"&gt;&lt;em&gt;2026-01-09&lt;/em&gt; &lt;strong&gt;Friday&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&#10; The &lt;strong&gt;Zwift&lt;/strong&gt; stationary bike app provides a nice controlled way to manage an aerobic exercise regime. This week&amp;rsquo;s&#10;plan allowed a 129&lt;sub&gt;bpm&lt;/sub&gt; maximum heart rate, which is getting close to the 80% maximum of&#10;135&lt;sub&gt;bpm&lt;/sub&gt; where the &lt;strong&gt;LRB&lt;/strong&gt; will spend the rest of the year tootling around at a level 2 ride. Today was&#10;the &lt;strong&gt;LRB&lt;/strong&gt;&amp;rsquo;s first quality ride since stent day. Good heart rate management gave a 1 hour ride with an average of&#10;121&lt;sub&gt;bpm&lt;/sub&gt;. He briefly hit 138&lt;sub&gt;bpm&lt;/sub&gt; during a 10 second loss of discipline as he sprinted for the&#10;top of the &lt;strong&gt;Col du Peyresourde&lt;/strong&gt;. Overall power was 130W or in cycling terms, about ⅓ of a Tadej Pogacar.&#10;The &lt;strong&gt;LRB&lt;/strong&gt; said &amp;ldquo;&lt;em&gt;That&amp;rsquo;s a win&lt;/em&gt;&amp;rdquo;.&#10; &lt;/div&gt;&#10;&lt;/div&gt;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&lt;div class="flex five diary-box"&gt;&#10; &#10; &#10; &lt;div class="fifth diary-icon"&gt;&lt;img src="https://hahahaa.uk/stories/003-recovery-2026/003-paddington.svg" alt="paddington"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&#10; &lt;div class="four-fifth"&gt;&#10; &lt;span class = "diary-date"&gt;&lt;em&gt;2026-01-07&lt;/em&gt; &lt;strong&gt;Wednesday&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&#10; The &lt;strong&gt;LRB&lt;/strong&gt; had his first check-up with the cardiologist. To score at least one &amp;ldquo;&lt;em&gt;who&amp;rsquo;s a good boy&lt;/em&gt;&amp;rdquo; point,&#10;he meticulously printed out all the data from the last 3 month of heart, diet and exercise information. The&#10;cardiologist interpreted the echo-cardiogram results so that the &lt;strong&gt;LRB&lt;/strong&gt;&amp;rsquo;s drug-addled brain could understand.&#10;Basically she reported that the LRB has &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;only a tiny bit of muscle damage in the top left part of his heart&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&#10;and has achieved a &lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;quite remarkable recovery&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; 😁. The &lt;strong&gt;LRB&lt;/strong&gt; therefore asked if he could exercise at his&#10;previous level. The cardiologist gave him a &lt;strong&gt;very&lt;/strong&gt; silent, very &lt;strong&gt;hard stare&lt;/strong&gt; that would have made Paddington&#10;cry. Guess he&amp;rsquo;ll be taking it gently then!&#10; &lt;/div&gt;&#10;&lt;/div&gt;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&lt;div class="flex five diary-box"&gt;&#10; &#10; &#10; &lt;div class="fifth diary-icon"&gt;&lt;img src="https://hahahaa.uk/shared/icons/blood-palm.svg" alt="blood-palm"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&#10; &lt;div class="four-fifth"&gt;&#10; &lt;span class = "diary-date"&gt;&lt;em&gt;2026-01-04&lt;/em&gt; &lt;strong&gt;Sunday&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&#10; The &lt;strong&gt;LRB&lt;/strong&gt;&amp;rsquo;s super flowing blood and thin skin picked a fight with the bag of coffee beans. Apparently, if you snip&#10;the bag with scissors and then hold the bag at just the right angle, you can slice your finger sufficiently badly&#10;to require 4 band-aids and over 48 hours of compression to stop the bleeding. Curiously, the &lt;strong&gt;LRB&lt;/strong&gt;&amp;rsquo;s keyboard&#10;now looks like a prop from a Quentin Tarantino fight scene.&#10; &lt;/div&gt;&#10;&lt;/div&gt;</description></item><item><title>❤️‍🩹 2025 Recovery Diary</title><link>https://hahahaa.uk/stories/002-recovery-2025/</link><pubDate>Wed, 31 Dec 2025 00:00:00 +0000</pubDate><guid>https://hahahaa.uk/stories/002-recovery-2025/</guid><description>&lt;!-- markdownlint-disable MD001 MD053 --&gt;&#10;&lt;h4 id="tldr--too-long-didnt-read"&gt;TLDR &lt;small&gt;Too Long; Didn&amp;rsquo;t Read;&lt;/small&gt;&lt;/h4&gt;&#10;&lt;p&gt;My definition of prison:&lt;/p&gt;&#10;&lt;ul&gt;&#10;&lt;li&gt;Sit still&lt;/li&gt;&#10;&lt;li&gt;Keep your heart rate low&lt;/li&gt;&#10;&lt;li&gt;Don't get excited.&lt;/li&gt;&#10;&lt;/ul&gt;&#10;&lt;p&gt;The month-by-month recovery story, newest on top, oldest at the bottom.&lt;/p&gt;&#10;&lt;p&gt;See also my 2025 &#10;&lt;a href="https://hahahaa.uk/002/recovery.htm"&#10; &#10;&gt;recovery-plan&lt;/a&gt;&#10;&#10;, latest &#10;&lt;a href="https://hahahaa.uk/002/bp.htm"&#10; &#10;&gt;BP-HR&lt;/a&gt;&#10;&#10; graphs &amp;amp; &#10;&lt;a href="../003-recovery-2026"&#10; &#10;&gt;2026 blog&lt;/a&gt;&#10;&#10;.&lt;/p&gt;&#10;&#10;&lt;style&gt;&#10; .diary-icon {&#10; display: flex;&#10; aspect-ratio: 1;&#10; padding: 0.1em;&#10; justify-content: center;&#10; border-right: 1px solid lightgrey;&#10; }&#10; .diary-box {&#10; align-items: center;&#10; border: 1px solid lightgrey;&#10; border-radius: 1em;&#10; margin: 0.3em;&#10; padding: 0.5em;&#10; }&#10; .diary-date {&#10; color: darkred;&#10; }&#10; .diary-box img {&#10; max-height:100%;&#10; max-width: 100%;&#10; padding: 0.3em;&#10; object-fit: contain;&#10; }&#10;&lt;/style&gt;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&lt;div class="flex five diary-box"&gt;&#10; &#10; &#10; &lt;div class="fifth diary-icon"&gt;&lt;img src="https://hahahaa.uk/shared/icons/2026.png" alt="New Year&amp;#39;s eve"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&#10; &lt;div class="four-fifth"&gt;&#10; &lt;span class = "diary-date"&gt;&lt;em&gt;2025-12-31&lt;/em&gt; &lt;strong&gt;Wednesday&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&#10; The &lt;strong&gt;LRB&lt;/strong&gt; decided that healthy living is on pause for celebrating New Year. Surely a couple of glasses of wine&#10;and some full fat deserts won&amp;rsquo;t be bad? Turns out they were just fine. The game of left-handed ball-pein nail&#10;hammering however&amp;hellip;..&#10; &lt;/div&gt;&#10;&lt;/div&gt;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&lt;div class="flex five diary-box"&gt;&#10; &#10; &#10; &lt;div class="fifth diary-icon"&gt;&lt;img src="https://hahahaa.uk/shared/icons/santa.svg" alt="Santa"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&#10; &lt;div class="four-fifth"&gt;&#10; &lt;span class = "diary-date"&gt;&lt;em&gt;2025-12-25&lt;/em&gt; &lt;strong&gt;Thursday&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&#10; &amp;ldquo;&lt;em&gt;Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas&lt;/em&gt;&amp;rdquo; said the &lt;strong&gt;LRB&lt;/strong&gt;. All dietary and alcoholic restrictions were paused as cheese,&#10;sausage, creamy sauces and lashings of Christmas cheer were consumed. Seems that the new dietary regime is a bit&#10;of a habit and the LRB consumed about 10 litres of water to &amp;ldquo;&lt;em&gt;feel right&lt;/em&gt;&amp;rdquo;. On the plus side his step count to and&#10;from the toilet amounted to nearly 8km!&#10; &lt;/div&gt;&#10;&lt;/div&gt;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&lt;div class="flex five diary-box"&gt;&#10; &#10; &#10; &lt;div class="fifth diary-icon"&gt;&lt;img src="https://hahahaa.uk/shared/icons/santa.svg" alt="Santa"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&#10; &lt;div class="four-fifth"&gt;&#10; &lt;span class = "diary-date"&gt;&lt;em&gt;2025-12-24&lt;/em&gt; &lt;strong&gt;Wednesday&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&#10; The sleuth team solved the Advent Cluedo puzzle through raw intelligence, some beers and some wine. The &lt;strong&gt;LRB&lt;/strong&gt;&#10;was looking forward to a couple of days of saturated fats, alcohol and sugars. &amp;ldquo;&lt;em&gt;The occasional celebration is&#10;OK&lt;/em&gt;&amp;rdquo; said the doctor and Christmas only comes once a year. There&amp;rsquo;s a 10 year old Malbec in the cupboard waiting&#10;for tomorrow&amp;rsquo;s lunch. Nice.&#10; &lt;/div&gt;&#10;&lt;/div&gt;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&lt;div class="flex five diary-box"&gt;&#10; &#10; &#10; &lt;div class="fifth diary-icon"&gt;&lt;img src="https://hahahaa.uk/stories/002-recovery-2025/002-physio.png" alt="Physio"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&#10; &lt;div class="four-fifth"&gt;&#10; &lt;span class = "diary-date"&gt;&lt;em&gt;2025-12-22&lt;/em&gt; &lt;strong&gt;Monday&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&#10; Cardiac rehabilitation day. The &lt;strong&gt;LRB&lt;/strong&gt; took train and Brompton to get to the hospital. A beautiful yet chilly&#10;ride got me ready for the tests to see if I was fit enough to start a physio programme to ward off the bad&#10;symptoms of heart disease. The assessor and I got on really well. He was a runner and his dad was a cyclist. We&#10;talked about local half marathon while completing 20 minutes of lifestyle questions and completing the full&#10;fitness test without getting over 110bpm. &amp;ldquo;&lt;em&gt;Just be aware&lt;/em&gt;&amp;rdquo;, he advised, &amp;ldquo;&lt;em&gt;that for most attendees, the sessions&#10;will be the longest exercise of the week. For you, it will be a rest day. Ask good questions of the physios!&lt;/em&gt;&amp;rdquo;.&#10;Great outcome. I&amp;rsquo;m super impressed with the NHS cardio-prevention teams. They&amp;rsquo;re really trying to stop people&#10;dropping dead prematurely.&#10; &lt;/div&gt;&#10;&lt;/div&gt;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&lt;div class="flex five diary-box"&gt;&#10; &#10; &#10; &lt;div class="fifth diary-icon"&gt;&lt;img src="https://hahahaa.uk/stories/002-recovery-2025/002-carlsberg.png" alt="carlsberg"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&#10; &lt;div class="four-fifth"&gt;&#10; &lt;span class = "diary-date"&gt;&lt;em&gt;2025-12-02&lt;/em&gt; &lt;strong&gt;Tuesday&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&#10; &amp;ldquo;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Reduce your alcohol consumption&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&amp;rdquo; advised all my doctors. Yay! For the last few years, I&amp;rsquo;ve been invited to&#10;attend the wonderful &#10;&lt;a href="https://nxtedition.com"&#10; &#10;&#9;&#9;target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer"&#10; &#10;&gt;nxtedition nxtdays&lt;/a&gt;&#10;&#10; in Copenhagen. This year we toured the Carlsberg&#10;brewery and I gave myself a special &amp;ldquo;&lt;em&gt;rules don&amp;rsquo;t apply&lt;/em&gt;&amp;rdquo; day. I tasted all the beers and the food was healthy&#10;and wonderful. I love working with Scandinavian companies. Their work-life balance philosophy makes life&#10;super-rewarding.&#10; &lt;/div&gt;&#10;&lt;/div&gt;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&lt;div class="flex five diary-box"&gt;&#10; &#10; &#10; &lt;div class="fifth diary-icon"&gt;&lt;img src="https://hahahaa.uk/shared/icons/delivery.svg" alt="moving day"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&#10; &lt;div class="four-fifth"&gt;&#10; &lt;span class = "diary-date"&gt;&lt;em&gt;2025-11-22&lt;/em&gt; &lt;strong&gt;Saturday&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&#10; &amp;ldquo;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don&amp;rsquo;t lift heavy thing&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&amp;rdquo; advised all my doctors. My daughter&amp;rsquo;s helpers got the hard jobs of carrying the&#10;boxes while I mended things, drilled holes and made curtains more vertical and practical than box fodder. The&#10;numbers on the devices were showing that moving around was making me feel better and more human and healthier.&#10; &lt;/div&gt;&#10;&lt;/div&gt;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&lt;div class="flex five diary-box"&gt;&#10; &#10; &#10; &lt;div class="fifth diary-icon"&gt;&lt;img src="https://hahahaa.uk/stories/002-recovery-2025/002-dino.png" alt="natural history museum"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&#10; &lt;div class="four-fifth"&gt;&#10; &lt;span class = "diary-date"&gt;&lt;em&gt;2025-11-18&lt;/em&gt; &lt;strong&gt;Tuesday&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&#10; &amp;ldquo;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don&amp;rsquo;t get eaten by dinosaurs&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&amp;rdquo; said no-one ever. Today was a healthy visit to the Natural History Museum&#10;with my wife and a good friend. A wonderful relaxing, low stress, gentle day with nothing to reverse my recovery.&#10;Jungle Rexy was actually quite friendly.&#10; &lt;/div&gt;&#10;&lt;/div&gt;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&lt;div class="flex five diary-box"&gt;&#10; &#10; &#10; &lt;div class="fifth diary-icon"&gt;&lt;img src="https://hahahaa.uk/stories/002-recovery-2025/002-dpp.png" alt="paternoster square"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&#10; &lt;div class="four-fifth"&gt;&#10; &lt;span class = "diary-date"&gt;&lt;em&gt;2025-11-18&lt;/em&gt; &lt;strong&gt;Tuesday&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&#10; &amp;ldquo;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Don&amp;rsquo;t get too excited&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&amp;rdquo; advised all my doctors. I suspected that 2 days in London debating the future of&#10;film, television and streaming technology should be nice and calming. Word had got out about me having a heart&#10;attack and so the amount of attention/hand-shaking/hugging/physical-contact-empathy was very high. Despite the&#10;best efforts of Charlotte (my minder) the numbers on the Blood Pressure monitor hit &lt;code&gt;128/80&lt;/code&gt; which is the&#10;highest non-exercise number since I bought the monitor. Nice people can be be more stressful than I thought.&#10; &lt;/div&gt;&#10;&lt;/div&gt;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&lt;div class="flex five diary-box"&gt;&#10; &#10; &#10; &lt;div class="fifth diary-icon"&gt;&lt;img src="https://hahahaa.uk/shared/icons/rat.svg" alt="rat"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&#10; &lt;div class="four-fifth"&gt;&#10; &lt;span class = "diary-date"&gt;&lt;em&gt;2025-11-16&lt;/em&gt; &lt;strong&gt;Sunday&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&#10; The Lab Rat Bruce(&lt;strong&gt;&lt;em&gt;LRB&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;) sat on the turbo trainer and was mildly excited to be able to hit this week&amp;rsquo;s peak&#10;heart rate of 107. This meant he could actually get some feedback from his legs. 45mins duration with only 2 x 10&#10;minutes of lapsed concentration later, he had an average HR of 101 and spent the rest of the day with the lowest&#10;average blood pressure yet recorded 114/72. The drugs work!&#10; &lt;/div&gt;&#10;&lt;/div&gt;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&lt;div class="flex five diary-box"&gt;&#10; &#10; &#10; &lt;div class="fifth diary-icon"&gt;&lt;img src="https://hahahaa.uk/shared/icons/yoga.svg" alt="yoga"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&#10; &lt;div class="four-fifth"&gt;&#10; &lt;span class = "diary-date"&gt;&lt;em&gt;2025-11-15&lt;/em&gt; &lt;strong&gt;Saturday&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&#10; The prisoner walked away from his yoga mat with an unusual gate. &amp;ldquo;&lt;em&gt;I&amp;rsquo;ve decided&lt;/em&gt;&amp;rdquo;, he said to the warden, &amp;ldquo;&lt;em&gt;that I&#10;no longer Identify as prisoner. I identify as &lt;strong&gt;S&lt;/strong&gt;elf-&lt;strong&gt;E&lt;/strong&gt;xperimenting-&lt;strong&gt;S&lt;/strong&gt;ubject-&lt;strong&gt;G&lt;/strong&gt;eriatric-&lt;strong&gt;B&lt;/strong&gt;ruce-&lt;strong&gt;O&lt;/strong&gt;n-&lt;strong&gt;T&lt;/strong&gt;herapy&#10;or &lt;strong&gt;SEGSBOT&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&amp;rdquo;. By coincidence, a couple of hours of forced readjustment therapy in front of classic period&#10;costume dramas enabled the prisoner to spontaneously offer never to utter that acronym again. He now identifies as&#10;the &lt;strong&gt;LRB&lt;/strong&gt; - &lt;em&gt;the &lt;strong&gt;L&lt;/strong&gt;ab &lt;strong&gt;R&lt;/strong&gt;at &lt;strong&gt;B&lt;/strong&gt;ruce&lt;/em&gt;** - pronounced &lt;em&gt;the LURB&lt;/em&gt;.&#10; &lt;/div&gt;&#10;&lt;/div&gt;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&lt;div class="flex five diary-box"&gt;&#10; &#10; &#10; &lt;div class="fifth diary-icon"&gt;&lt;img src="https://hahahaa.uk/shared/icons/sleep.svg" alt="sleep"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&#10; &lt;div class="four-fifth"&gt;&#10; &lt;span class = "diary-date"&gt;&lt;em&gt;2025-11-14&lt;/em&gt; &lt;strong&gt;Friday&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&#10; The prisoner looked at the sleep quality graph from his watch. There seems to be a strong correlation between good&#10;sleep and getting the heart rate up into &lt;em&gt;zone 1&lt;/em&gt; (80-100bpm) or &lt;em&gt;zone 2&lt;/em&gt; (100-130bpm). Strong intellectual&#10;engagement (e.g. teaching) improves sleep, but sitting on your bum wading through 9 months of neglected emails may&#10;be de-stressing, but does not result in good sleep. 50 mins in &lt;em&gt;zone 1&lt;/em&gt; on the bike this morning will be inspected&#10;tomorrow.&#10; &lt;/div&gt;&#10;&lt;/div&gt;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&lt;div class="flex five diary-box"&gt;&#10; &#10; &#10; &lt;div class="fifth diary-icon"&gt;&lt;img src="https://hahahaa.uk/shared/icons/doctor.svg" alt="doctor"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&#10; &lt;div class="four-fifth"&gt;&#10; &lt;span class = "diary-date"&gt;&lt;em&gt;2025-11-13&lt;/em&gt; &lt;strong&gt;Thursday&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&#10; The prisoner went to the GP and spent a good 15 minutes discussing pills, recovery, shaving cuts and drugs. He says&#10;the executive summary is a resounding &amp;ldquo;&lt;em&gt;Pat on the head&lt;/em&gt;&amp;rdquo; with a side order of &amp;ldquo;&lt;em&gt;Who&amp;rsquo;s a good boy!&lt;/em&gt;&amp;rdquo;. Blood test&#10;dates will be brought forward. It&amp;rsquo;s unclear if the comment &amp;ldquo;&lt;em&gt;A bit thick&lt;/em&gt;&amp;rdquo; referred to the prisoner&amp;rsquo;s blood or the&#10;&lt;strong&gt;LRB&lt;/strong&gt;&amp;rsquo;s intelligence. He also dropped the observation that I was pre-diabetic and would I like to go on a course&#10;to help manage it. &amp;ldquo;&lt;em&gt;Why not?&lt;/em&gt;&amp;rdquo;, I replied.&#10; &lt;/div&gt;&#10;&lt;/div&gt;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&lt;div class="flex five diary-box"&gt;&#10; &#10; &#10; &lt;div class="fifth diary-icon"&gt;&lt;img src="https://hahahaa.uk/stories/002-recovery-2025/002-elstree.png" alt="sky studios elstree"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&#10; &lt;div class="four-fifth"&gt;&#10; &lt;span class = "diary-date"&gt;&lt;em&gt;2025-11-11&lt;/em&gt; &lt;strong&gt;Tuesday&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&#10; &amp;ldquo;&lt;em&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Keep your stress low&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&amp;rdquo; advised all my doctors. Unfortunately, nobody told the elevator at Elstree that.&#10;After a tour of the site, including the former Wicked stage, 12 of us piled into the lift and it got stuck for&#10;30 minutes. Luckily nobody had claustrophobia or life threatening flatulence. My heart rate peaked at 61, so the&#10;jokes I was telling were obviously up to my usual high standard.&#10; &lt;/div&gt;&#10;&lt;/div&gt;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&lt;div class="flex five diary-box"&gt;&#10; &#10; &#10; &lt;div class="fifth diary-icon"&gt;&lt;img src="https://hahahaa.uk/stories/002-recovery-2025/002-elstree.png" alt="sky studios elstree"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&#10; &lt;div class="four-fifth"&gt;&#10; &lt;span class = "diary-date"&gt;&lt;em&gt;2025-11-10&lt;/em&gt; &lt;strong&gt;Monday&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&#10; 3 weeks post angioplasty and it&amp;rsquo;s time to try working. I&amp;rsquo;m booked to deliver a 3 day course on workflows, AI and&#10;cyber security at Sky Studios Elstree. Gentle walking, trains and overnight in the Premier Inn means my heart rate&#10;should stay below 100bpm if I stay calm. The first day - perfect health and an awesome cohort of enthusiastic&#10;students.&#10; &lt;/div&gt;&#10;&lt;/div&gt;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&lt;div class="flex five diary-box"&gt;&#10; &#10; &#10; &lt;div class="fifth diary-icon"&gt;&lt;img src="https://hahahaa.uk/shared/icons/bike.svg" alt="bike"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&#10; &lt;div class="four-fifth"&gt;&#10; &lt;span class = "diary-date"&gt;&lt;em&gt;2025-11-06&lt;/em&gt; &lt;strong&gt;Thursday&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&#10; The well rested and well fed prisoner spent an hour of gently pedalling while paying attention to his corporeal&#10;feedback and reported feeling brilliant. Zwift has a new Makuri Island route that&amp;rsquo;s like a cave based Avatar fever&#10;dream - very pleasant. Maybe relaxation captivity is OK after all.&#10; &lt;/div&gt;&#10;&lt;/div&gt;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&lt;div class="flex five diary-box"&gt;&#10; &#10; &#10; &lt;div class="fifth diary-icon"&gt;&lt;img src="https://hahahaa.uk/shared/icons/brain.svg" alt="brain"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&#10; &lt;div class="four-fifth"&gt;&#10; &lt;span class = "diary-date"&gt;&lt;em&gt;2025-11-05&lt;/em&gt; &lt;strong&gt;Wednesday&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&#10; 3am wide awake for no apparent reason. The prisoner checks: has the warden woken him? nope. heart&#10;racing? nope - 42bpm. blood pressure spike? nope 116/73. suddenly figured out the story arc for delivering next week&amp;rsquo;s&#10;course at Elstree studios? Yep. Goddam brain.&#10; &lt;/div&gt;&#10;&lt;/div&gt;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&lt;div class="flex five diary-box"&gt;&#10; &#10; &#10; &lt;div class="fifth diary-icon"&gt;&lt;img src="https://hahahaa.uk/shared/icons/heart-ecg-sketch.svg" alt="echo cardiogram"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&#10; &lt;div class="four-fifth"&gt;&#10; &lt;span class = "diary-date"&gt;&lt;em&gt;2025-11-04&lt;/em&gt; &lt;strong&gt;Tuesday&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&#10; Looking at the gifted bag of beetroot, the prisoner considered that his life must now encompass dietary habits&#10;that he would once have classed &lt;em&gt;batshit crazy&lt;/em&gt;. No more grapefruit juice, his favourite, full butter croissants&#10;will be a scarce treat for special occasions and gone is the goats butter. In comes the olive oil sprayer to&#10;enliven his sourdough vegemite toast. Seems like &lt;em&gt;batshit crazy&lt;/em&gt; can also be &lt;strong&gt;delicious&lt;/strong&gt;.&lt;br&gt;&lt;br&gt;After morning&#10;yoga &amp;amp; zwift, the prisoner reports that there is no correlation between thin, floppy, fluid blood&#10;and soft, floppy, fluid, flexible joints. He can however feel the difference between pedalling gently at 100bpm&#10;and 90bpm but not 90bpm &amp;amp; 80bpm. This week&amp;rsquo;s slightly elevated heart rate allowance means pedalling is less about&#10;concentrating on heart rate and more about listening to the body performing as a whole. Yay.&#10; &lt;/div&gt;&#10;&lt;/div&gt;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&lt;div class="flex five diary-box"&gt;&#10; &#10; &#10; &lt;div class="fifth diary-icon"&gt;&lt;img src="https://hahahaa.uk/shared/icons/brain.svg" alt="brain"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&#10; &lt;div class="four-fifth"&gt;&#10; &lt;span class = "diary-date"&gt;&lt;em&gt;2025-11-03&lt;/em&gt; &lt;strong&gt;Monday&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&#10; The prisoner finally figured out that the microwave medicine spreadsheet would look better if he used a ruler to&#10;draw the lines. It took him a while to figure out how the ruler worked because it lacked any battery or internet&#10;connection. The prisoner eventually figured it out. He can now log average daily blood pressure and heart rate.&#10;The brain cell monitor may be broken or maybe the brain cell remains unused.&#10; &lt;/div&gt;&#10;&lt;/div&gt;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&lt;div class="flex five diary-box"&gt;&#10; &#10; &#10; &lt;div class="fifth diary-icon"&gt;&lt;img src="https://hahahaa.uk/shared/icons/bike.svg" alt="bike"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&#10; &lt;div class="four-fifth"&gt;&#10; &lt;span class = "diary-date"&gt;&lt;em&gt;2025-11-02&lt;/em&gt; &lt;strong&gt;Sunday&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&#10; The prisoner awoke and went straight to his happy place. Today the happy place was the indoor bicycle hooked up to&#10;Zwift. 50 mins, 213 calories and an average of 90bpm later he was rewarded with an outraged &amp;ldquo;&lt;em&gt;I can smell you from&#10;here&lt;/em&gt;&amp;rdquo; by one of his guards. The prisoner was then informed that he was wrong about his happy place. Apparently&#10;it&amp;rsquo;s the shower. The prisoner has a new continuous blood pressure monitor from &lt;strong&gt;&#10;&lt;a href="https://hilo.com"&#10; &#10;&#9;&#9;target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer"&#10; &#10;&gt;Hilo&lt;/a&gt;&#10;&#10;&lt;/strong&gt; which&#10;shows low sleep numbers and optimal day numbers. This indicates that his new thinner blood is working.&#10; &lt;/div&gt;&#10;&lt;/div&gt;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&lt;div class="flex five diary-box"&gt;&#10; &#10; &#10; &lt;div class="fifth diary-icon"&gt;&lt;img src="https://hahahaa.uk/shared/icons/prison.svg" alt="prison"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&#10; &lt;div class="four-fifth"&gt;&#10; &lt;span class = "diary-date"&gt;&lt;em&gt;2025-11-01&lt;/em&gt; &lt;strong&gt;Saturday&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&#10; Balance Yoga was performed by the prisoner is a style that paid tribute to the first ever colour commercial he saw&#10;on TV in September 1974 when he arrived in the UK. The legendary &#10;&lt;a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oAFP4kepJQI"&#10; &#10;&#9;&#9;target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer"&#10; &#10;&gt;Weebles Wobble But They Don&amp;rsquo;t Fall Down&lt;/a&gt;&#10;&#10;&#10;song has been a permanent inspirational earworm ever since. The prisoner&amp;rsquo;s mastery of balance yoga honors the song&#10;in every aspect except for the &lt;em&gt;don&amp;rsquo;t fall down&lt;/em&gt; bits.&#10; &lt;/div&gt;&#10;&lt;/div&gt;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&lt;div class="flex five diary-box"&gt;&#10; &#10; &#10; &lt;div class="fifth diary-icon"&gt;&lt;img src="https://hahahaa.uk/shared/icons/prison.svg" alt="prison"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&#10; &lt;div class="four-fifth"&gt;&#10; &lt;span class = "diary-date"&gt;&lt;em&gt;2025-10-31&lt;/em&gt; &lt;strong&gt;Friday&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&#10; The gentle patter of rain dripped between random intermittent snores, waking the prisoner for a 30 minutes&#10;&lt;strong&gt;&#10;&lt;a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/Hiroshima-John-Hersey-ebook/dp/B07RLTXCFX"&#10; &#10;&#9;&#9;target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer"&#10; &#10;&gt;Hiroshima&lt;/a&gt;&#10;&#10;&lt;/strong&gt; read and a 45 second Wordle. He reports that Balance Yoga was a miracle of slapstick comedy&#10;and Zwift burned enough calories to boil a thimble of water. Play date #1 was coffee with friends and for play&#10;date #2 a dog on a leash appeared with people to take the prisoner for his weekly walk. The prisoner reports&#10;feeling 9.5/10 and has no stress.&#10; &lt;/div&gt;&#10;&lt;/div&gt;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&lt;div class="flex five diary-box"&gt;&#10; &#10; &#10; &lt;div class="fifth diary-icon"&gt;&lt;img src="https://hahahaa.uk/shared/icons/prison.svg" alt="prison"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&#10; &lt;div class="four-fifth"&gt;&#10; &lt;span class = "diary-date"&gt;&lt;em&gt;2025-10-30&lt;/em&gt; &lt;strong&gt;Thursday&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&#10; The prisoner was noisily woken 30 minutes before his alarm and was in fine spirits. Succulent autumnal sunshine&#10;lazily drifted into the room and wordle put up only 22 seconds of resistance before being completed in 3 guesses.&#10;An absence of yoga for 2 weeks revealed hips that opened like the doors of a 200 year old tomb. Zwift, however was&#10;a psychological struggle to keep the HR below 90, especially when 85 year old Fraulein Kristen from Germany&#10;overtook him on Prospect Park hill. The prisoner was released for 2 hours for a birthday party play-date at a&#10;friends house. 40ml of &lt;strong&gt;Prosecco&lt;/strong&gt; was uneventfully consumed.&#10; &lt;/div&gt;&#10;&lt;/div&gt;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&#10;&lt;div class="flex five diary-box"&gt;&#10; &#10; &#10; &lt;div class="fifth diary-icon"&gt;&lt;img src="https://hahahaa.uk/shared/icons/prison.svg" alt="prison"&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&#10; &lt;div class="four-fifth"&gt;&#10; &lt;span class = "diary-date"&gt;&lt;em&gt;2025-10-29&lt;/em&gt; &lt;strong&gt;Wednesday&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&#10; **Wed ** The prisoner awoke in the dark, reached over and enjoyed the final 10 second countdown to his alarm.&#10;The rain clattered on the tiles and, opening his book, he settled in for a 10 minute read of a weather-appropriate&#10;&lt;strong&gt;&#10;&lt;a href="https://www.amazon.co.uk/Hiroshima-John-Hersey-ebook/dp/B07RLTXCFX"&#10; &#10;&#9;&#9;target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer"&#10; &#10;&gt;Hiroshima&lt;/a&gt;&#10;&#10;&lt;/strong&gt; before nailing Wordle in 4. Today&amp;rsquo;s human-experimentation was to take multiple blood pressure&#10;(BP) readings before, during &amp;amp; after force-feeding him the proton-pump inhibitor pill. Result: the high morning BP&#10;reading is due to it being morning. According to AI, there is no known cure for mornings.&#10; &lt;/div&gt;&#10;&lt;/div&gt;</description></item><item><title>The mysterious shoulder pain</title><link>https://hahahaa.uk/stories/001-mysterious-shoulder-pain/</link><pubDate>Thu, 23 Oct 2025 00:00:00 +0000</pubDate><guid>https://hahahaa.uk/stories/001-mysterious-shoulder-pain/</guid><description>&lt;style&gt;&#10; .ha1 { color: var(--hi3);font-weight: bold;}&#10; .ha2 { color: var(--hi2);font-weight: bold;}&#10; .ha3 { color: var(--hi1);font-weight: bold;}&#10;&lt;/style&gt;&#10;&lt;p&gt;&lt;span class="ha1"&gt;H&lt;/span&gt;ealthy &lt;span class="ha1"&gt;A&lt;/span&gt;thlete&#10;&lt;span class="ha2"&gt;H&lt;/span&gt;ad &lt;span class="ha2"&gt;A&lt;/span&gt;&#10;&lt;span class="ha3"&gt;H&lt;/span&gt;eart &lt;span class="ha3"&gt;A&lt;/span&gt;ttack &lt;span class="ha3"&gt;A&lt;/span&gt;nyway&#10;2025-10-16&lt;/p&gt;&#10;&lt;ul&gt;&#10;&lt;li&gt;&#10;&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;TLDR &lt;small&gt;Too Long; Didn&amp;rsquo;t Read;&lt;/small&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;br&gt;At no stage did I ever feel that I was in severe pain and for 99.9% of this story,&#10;&lt;em&gt;I felt really great&lt;/em&gt;. 2 days after leaving hospital, I feel even better than I've&#10;done in months despite some pretty impressive bruises and a fizzing cocktail of&#10;drugs forcing my body to adapt to some new and weird Chemistry. The medical team&#10;never used the phrase &lt;em&gt;&amp;quot;heart attack&amp;quot;&lt;/em&gt; and so neither will I.&lt;/p&gt;</description></item></channel></rss>